Imagine pushing a cart loaded with apples down a hillside. You need immense focus and balance to prevent it from toppling over.
Similarly, it is important to keep a hold and control over anger, else it destroys relationships. It is very difficult to pick up the strings again. Things never go back to normal, a little bump remains.
How badly does getting angry affect us? Not only is the mind derailed, but the body suffers. The heart beats faster, we sweat, have palpitations, go red in the face and sometimes are shaking all over. Is that pleasant? Is it worth suffering so?
I believe not. I have made a conscious effort in controlling my anger. Not bottling it up inside, but calming myself down. Of course there are situations that require one to be angry, especially when one is wronged. But there is always a limit and one must know when to stop.
There are many ways to reduce anger especially around people who matter. I would like to share a few.
Counting to 10 before expressing anger helps. It really does. It gives one those precious seconds to understand the situation.
Then a few deep breathes. Yes, it immediately has a calming effect. Teasing the shoulders a bit and letting go of the tension in the muscles.
Identifying the reason for the rising temper is the next step. It could be that you are actually hurt or annoyed or maybe have simply forgotten something and starting to blame the person closest to you. Often analysis leads to an ah-ha moment when the reason becomes evident and does not really warrant anger. I have sometimes found the situation so ridiculous that I ended up having a good laugh.
Communicating. Anger can be dispelled by talking about it. Sometimes a misunderstanding is cleared by communicating. Sometimes a solution is found.
There are many other ways of avoiding the situation too, for instance by leaving the area, doing something you enjoy or simply sitting in your favorite den.
Instead of seeing red, change the color to blue and the mind will be at peace!
“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind” -Ralph Waldo Emerson, an American essayist, lecturer, philosopher in the mid-19th century.
Next up is Day 14: Others’ Shoes